INFPs (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceivers, in the MBTI-related personality system) live an intense paradox when it comes to people connections. On the one hand we savor, indeed require, much solitude; on the other, we have the instinct for emotional intimacy--to know others deeply and to be deeply known.
Being introverts, we are unlikely to attend an abundance of optional social functions or to be comfortable at or interested in small talk. All this, combined with the relative rarity of INFPs in the population (estimated at 1-3%) can make it difficult for us to feel optimally connected. Yet because interacting with people, for us, uses a lot of energy, in selecting our interactions we must choose carefully; it will not satisfy us in the long term to take whatever companionship is offered.
But the world is a big place, and 1% of 6 billion (a conservative estimate of earth's population) is 60 million. So the world has tens of millions of INFPs--though many of us, surrounded by other types, may feel different and misunderstood. Even if we modestly estimate the English-speaking population of the world to be 500 million, that leaves over 5 million English-speaking INFPs...perhaps a million times more than an INFP might be able to handle as close friends. Not all INFPs, of course, are good connection candidates for any other particular INFP, but even after subtracting those with whom one may be incompatible, many good candidates remain.
The problem, then, is not a dearth of INFPs, but rather the difficulty of connecting us to each other. INFPs have found the Internet an immensely helpful resource in helping them find sympathetic others. Toward that end, many good INFP blogs and Internet groups exist. This blog will, I hope, provide one more site for INFPs--and those of similar spirit--to feel at home, authentically engaged, perhaps even from time to time intensely inspired. I won't pretend to speak for all INFPs, but will rather provide a window into certain aspects of the--philosophical, word-loving, psychologically aware--life and mind of one "Single Male INFP."
Hi Michael
ReplyDeleteI certainly agree with everything that you have said. I live the paradox too of wanting a deep connection with others, striving for emotional intimacy but needing to protect myself from having my energy completely drained. My partner is bipolar which adds to the mixture!
Best of luck with your site.
Janete
Hi Janete,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your input...and you raise the important point that beyond personality type, age, interests, culture, values, and other oft-noted influences on a person's functioning within a relationship, there is the matter of mental health...one's own and one's partner's.
Along similar lines I was looking at the DSM personality disorders recently, and noticed that some INFPs might be prone to features of avoidant personality disorder or dependent personality disorder. But that's a complex and controversial topic, best left for a different time.
In general, it's long been noted that different temperaments are more likely to develop certain disorders than are others; but just which ones, and where exactly to draw the line between "unique" or "eccentric" on the one hand, vs "pathological" and "mentally ill" on the other...that's where it gets more complicated and dicey.
Further, even if someone clearly fits the criteria for diagnosis, some fare better being given that diagnosis, while others respond far better to being seen as "normal, with a few issues to work out."
Thanks again, and best of luck to you, too.
2 posts in March and none since.. Yes, you are certainly INFP... ;)
ReplyDeleteTanya,
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely correct. :)
INFPs often have so many artistic and other impulses and ideas, that many worthy projects are only begun... The important thing is to be engaged in one engaging or meaningful pursuit or another.
Thanks for your comments.
Are you an INFP? And what are your thoughts on Gibran?
Michael
i've taken that test several times throughout my lfe and always analyzed as INFP until recently. now INFJ. which i thought was interesting. that personality could sway. .
ReplyDeletehave always been borderline on all three but the first.
interesting blog you have. wish there were more posts.